This week flew by in a flash. When I try to remember things that happened a month ago, it seems like recalling the distant past. And yet, each day and each week seem to fly by much too quickly.
Thankfully this week was a relatively calm one, with few 'extra' things on top of the craziness. Tuesday morning Little Dude had a field trip with his class, and since I wasn't already doing anything I decided to go help out. We went to a nearby theater to see a play that they were doing for kids. I was impressed by how well the kindergartners I was with paid attention, and I think Little Dude was happy that I could come. I dropped P.Bibby off at a friend's house and I felt awful when she clung to me and cried while I left. Thankfully when I came to pick her up she was smiling and my friend reported that she had enjoyed her visit after all.
The weather has turned cold but we haven't had any snow or rain for a while. I'm glad that things will be clear for Halloween on Monday. I'm really not that excited about taking the kids to go trick-or-treat; I feel like I'm having a hard time getting motivated to celebrate the holidays this year. Everything still feels weird and off-kilter and I think it will take a while to get feel at ease with the new situation. I'm used to doing stuff as part of a team and it is hard to be motivated to do it by myself. Actually, I think this is mostly true of Halloween since it's never been my thing. I am looking forward to Christmas.
I have found another good full-time job possibility that would give me great training and experience. I will send my resume off to them tomorrow, but I'm also not so sure about some aspects of it. The pay is really low but the hours are not conducive to keeping either of my second jobs. I know how to live frugally and I think I can make it with the pay, but things would be tight. It's also about 20 minutes away, which isn't a huge commute for most people, but I'm not sure I want to waste 40 or 45 minutes of my time every day driving. I'm still going to submit my resume and see if I at least get an interview. Then I can figure out the logistics.
On Monday I printed off a simple chart for myself with three goals: get to bed by 10:30, read the Book of Mormon, and write in my journal. Unfortunately the bedtime goal has never been met and neither has the journal one, but I have been reading my scriptures every day! I am trying to get my life back in order in some ways, and this week I am renewing my commitment to an earlier bedtime. I have to get up early to start my day and I know I do better with more sleep.
I've also been trying to figure out how to cook and eat. The kids are gone for several nights a week, and even when they're here I still feel like I'm cooking for one person because they don't eat a lot. I don't want to fall into the trap of only making kid-friendly food like pizza or macaroni and cheese, because I like to cook and I still want them to eat a variety of foods. But I need to find meals that are fairly simple, cheap, and that don't make a lot of food. Sometimes lately I've made bigger meals and then regretted it since I end up eating the leftovers all week. The kids don't eat leftovers, and while I don't mind them, I usually get tired of something after the fourth or fifth time I eat it.
Last night I caved and got myself some Panda Express, since I was by myself and it sounded yummy when I drove by. I did get the chow mein noodles, but I passed on the deep fried stuff and got some chicken with green beans and some spicy beef that had mushrooms and peppers. At least I had some vegetables, and there was enough food that I brought the leftovers for lunch at work today. I was very tempted to get fast food for dinner tonight, but I had self-discipline. When I got home I realized that I had some butternut squash soup in the freezer, so I ate some with a salad and a grilled cheese sandwich. Now I'm going to go have some yogurt before bed. I am making some progress on the food front; I've found that if I have some tasty, real food around that is convenient, then I do eat it. I just need to keep up that resolve.
Speaking of resolve, I should get to bed. I'm debating making Boston Cream Pie tomorrow. A whole cake for four people seems like a bit much, especially since the next day is Halloween and we'll be full of sugar. But I've been wanting to get on the bandwagon with talking about states again (we've taken nearly a month off) and I hate to miss out on it. I'm curious to see what the kids think about clam chowder; if they're hungry enough after church it just might be a success.
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